I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
