When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
