woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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