I faked an abortion last night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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