I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
