question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
