It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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