I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
