Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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