on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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