I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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