Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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