& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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