I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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