walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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