Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
