i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
