Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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