Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
