Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
