Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
