Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
