can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
