All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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