I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
