There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
