do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
