She's JV to your varsity
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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