dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
