I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
