Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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