You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
