i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
