Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
