i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
