Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
