member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
