all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
