So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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