After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
