I need help removing her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
