Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
