Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
