Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
high people should be assigned attendants
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
