Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
