can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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