She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
