I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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