I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
