i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
